Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Randomize
