i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
