Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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