they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
