summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
