I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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