I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
