i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
