not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
