South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
