We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
