I think my fart just growled at me.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
