Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
