She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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