:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
