he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
