garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
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