saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
