Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Randomize
