is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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