You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
