you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
