I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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