the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
