Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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