I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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