I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
