every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
