just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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