I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
