She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
