The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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