Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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