I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize