Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
