google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
My balls are so social today.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
