her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
