my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
