they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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