OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
