kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
