I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
