It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
He literally asked permission to hit on me
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
