I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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