dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
