No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
