So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
She announced her abortion via fbk
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
