so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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