After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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