so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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