why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
He uses pillows to masturbate.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
